My Mom

Mom’s Adventures

What a week it’s been, Mom and I have had a very challenging week. I fear her Dementia has been increasing. The hardest part about Dementia is this, that we never know what our day is going to be like. Of course that’s like anything in life right? Well the difference  is that I never know if Mom is going to be in a good mood, or bad mood and that dictates how my day is going to go.

So this week, I did an epic failure and trust me I learned my lesson lol. I booked too many things (appointments ) together in one week.  As well it was an appointment that she absolutely did NOT want to go to. So that in itself was hard to get her to go.  We had to go see about her getting a Colonoscopy test done. Now she was thinking that it was the actual test , so when I kept telling her No it’s just a consult, she wouldn’t believe me. Go figure. After that was done and he suggested she have it done, because of her having loose stools so often, I thought I would treat her to supper at her favourite restaurant Smitty’s.

It kind of helped but she was very angry and upset with me for taking her in the first place. So when she finally ordered her food, she asked me for her bank card. I said sure , then I asked her what it was that she was buying? She said” None of your business”  then she said she had to go to the bathroom and got up and slowly made her way to the gas station store. In my head I was telling myself to let her go on her own, but my heart wanted to join her to help her in case she got weak or needed help. But my head is like NOPE she wants space. So I convinced myself to sit at the table and if it took too long then go check her out. Well sure enough, the cashier came around and asked his partner for some help. So right away I jumped up thinking the worst that she fell. Well when I got there she started firmly saying “NEVER MIND” to the boy behind the counter, then turned to me and said” Can’t I breathe without you down my neck?” So I explained and then that helped a little. Then she proceeded to go to the Bank machine , I once again left her alone. Inside my heart was breaking, because I could tell she was struggling. So when I saw her sit down on her walker I then again went over and asked if she was ok? She said the machine was broken. So I tried it and it worked. Which once again frustrated her even more.  When I asked if she was ready to leave, she very angrily said ” she would leave when she’s ready”

So I paid for supper which wasn’t a hit for her, then waited. When she was finally ready to go, the  whole time walking to the car, she kept complaining about how my Dad has a scooter and he can go anywhere he wants he doesn’t have to depend on anyone( which isn’t exactly true) and her friend does what she wants when she wants.  She then said that she will never be able to do anything without my or my husband’s help.  She then started to cry and was quiet the rest of the drive home. I tried to let her know that they have different problems then her. She has different challenges , but she doesn’t see it.

It broke my heart, to see her struggle.   When there’s nothing I can do to make it better. She’s also been asking if she has to take so many pills for the rest of her life? When I say yes, she just gets more upset. It’s been a challenging week for sure.  Next week we are going in to get New Glasses hopefully that will cheer her up and I also got her Hearing Aids so she doesn’t  have to struggle listening to the TV. So we’ll see how that goes.

My biggest fear is that she’s going downhill faster than we anticipated, and I’m hoping she’ll be ok for at least a year until we get back to Ontario. But Time will tell. I have asked God so many times to let her be ok, I don’t dare ask any more favours. I do get to spend our precious time together and I am grateful for the good and bad everyday.


Mom’s Big Adventure

So this week has been a very trying week for mom and myself. My mom has always been terrible at letting me know when she’s in pain or discomfort. I know it’s because of her childhood and if she complained about something she would get in more trouble than what the complaint was about. So I understand why she has a hard time telling me she has a headache or her back is hurting I have gotten pretty good at noticing the signs. But for a while there Mom kept taking out her dentures and then shoving them back in if I saw this. So I questioned her and she finally admitted that they were hurting her.  So just before we went away to Ontario I took her to a denturist and sure enough he said she has sores. I also found out these have been the same ones she’s had since she first got them. So her molars were worn down to the nub.  She just said she couldn’t afford it. But Terry and I said you have to have new ones. They’re a necessity. So we paid for them and she has been getting appt for them. They started off with impressions, then the wax model to see how they fit etc.

Well I made a big mistake and booked her hair appt in the middle of the two appts. for her Denture fittings.  Plus I had to rush her which is not at all.  As the day went on the worse she got. But on friday was her last appt. I thought she would be excited but in fact she was more anxious. It didn’t matter what I did she was at me with snide remarks and whatever I said to her, she would snap back with a different point and it didn’t matter what I said she was on one way and I certainly was not allowed to be on it lol. Let’s just say it was a very quiet ride into town. I tried to see if she’d like to play bingo on her tablet and she said ” NOPE” because you always pipe in and tell me how to play it.

It wasn’t going to matter what I said ” I was the bad guy” so thankfully when we got to the denturist office it finally cheered her up.  I she finally smiled and it cheered her up. She was in a lot better mood after that. She even wanted to go to the Rink for Burger (mostly because Terry was cooking) but it was much better.  Thank goodness.  So this week we have a dr. appt on Tuesday and the following we’re in Regina for her follow up. Fingers crossed it will be a lot more successful mood wise. lol

This little lady has finally got her pearly whites (literally) and the smile on her face was well worth it. I know  she doesn’t mean it at the time, and I know she’ll apologize later in the night. I just have to brace through it.  Choose my battles they say!!

Flying on a Jet Plane

This is the first time in 2 years that I’ll be home at Christmas. My mom and I are flying and my husband unfortunately will be staying behind, for 2 reasons. One- is because we’re getting new floors installed and he wants to be here.  2- We don’t like to leave the dogs behind in the winter.  But for some reason Mom doesn’t remember that she has had 2 Christmases without my dad and in her mind she has never been without him on Christmas. So my husband and I made the decision to make her happy and cherish the memory that she will be with him on Christmas.  I have mixed feelings of course, I will miss my husband terribly we have never been apart on Christmas, but you have to do what you have to do. Right?

I will be able to see my girls, and spend some time with my Sister in Law and my cousin. But it won’t be the same without him for sure.  SO you see my predicament, right? I am always amazed at how amazing my husband is, and how he is willing to sacrifice time and time again, so my mom is happy and myself.  He always jokes that it’ll be a holiday for him too. Maybe so, but I’ll never know. He always says he doesn’t want Birthday or Christmas Presents either, but I never listen. lol.

So I’m packing my luggage and the difficult part is that I’ll be pushing my Mom in her walker and the bags too. So I’m trying to pack as much as I can in one for me so I have less to carry. I have Christmas presents and of course my essentials Shakeology, workout clothes and my essential equipment. Then my regular clothes. I can’t believe I got most of it in!  Now I just have to finish Mom’s luggage. Ugh, then we leave on Monday. Thank goodness we are staying at a hotel the night before the flight. There is no way I could do that, drive super early in the morning to make sure we get to the airport by 9 am.

Monday she has to get her hair done. It had to be the latest and closest to her seeing my dad(She wants to look her best) so my hairdresser is coming in on her day off to fix mom’s hair, then we have her denturist appt at 2pm. Finally we will be on the road to Regina, and I will be getting her set up and will go for a hot soak and relax before our flight. Going to be a long day on Tuesday but I’m excited to see my girls.

I have been trying to find a nice outfit to wear so that I can look my best ( I guess like mother like Daughter) and I came across these boots. Now a very long time ago I used to love shoes, and purses but hey that’s another post lol. Anyways, I have always wanted to have a pair of Red Jeans and I finally found a pair and those boots. So I just had to have them. They were pricey and the funny thing is that where I’m going has way more snow than we do out here lol. So I’m glad I bought them.  Aren’t they the cutest?!  I will definitely keep you posted on our next few days lol.

Christmas In Ontario

Normally when we fly home for vacation ( hubby and I) we stay at my daughter’s or my sister in laws. While we’re there, but this time it’s Mom and I fly home for Christmas. This is the first Christmas that Mom is actually well enough and believes it or not doesn’t remember the last two Christmases that past because she was so sick. So in her eye’s she has not been witout my Dad at Christmas in over 30 years.

So we decided that no matter what with her health being really good, that Mom & I would fly home. My husband is staying back at our place just because we don’t want to leave the dogs outside for a week in the winter. The weather has been very unpredictable. I chatted with my daughter about my sleeping arrangements and with my other daughter living there and the pets she’s working through Christmas with her working it would make more sense for me to stay with Mom & Dad.

Well, one night when I was tucking her in bed, and making sure she had everything she asked if I was going to be staying at my Sister in Laws house for a few nights while we were in Ontario? I said well, I wasn’t really planning on it. ” Why do you ask?” Then she said: ” Well I think it would be a really good idea!” So I asked her why she wanted to me to stay with my Sister in Laws? BIG MISTAKE. You know those questions you ask and then as soon as you ask if you wished you didn’t lol. Well, that was the question, Mom said that she and Dad needed some alone time! They needed their privacy, I would be in the way. My first response was “TMI ” TMI” Mom, but what was said, was said. lol

So apparently I’m looking for a place to stay for a few nights. So my parents can have their privacy etc. Who would have thought at their age, it was something they still wanted. I guess it’s a blessing and a really nice thought knowing they still love each other that way still.

In a way, I felt like I should ask if I should knock first before I go in the apartment. lol.  I just hope it’s going to be a better trip then the August trip. And that my dad is more responsive to my mom. But time will tell. All I know is I keep thinking of these old jackrabbits getting it on lol.

Mash Potato

I’m not sure how your Mom used to make family suppers, but one thing was for sure it didn’t matter what kind of supper it was unless Spaghetti, did we always have potatoes with our meal. Mashed, boiled, scalloped, roasted. Almost like Lord of the Rings when Sam yells at Smeegle about “P O T A T O E S!!”  But we never went shy of them.  That’s for sure. Plus my mom only ever used a paring knife, we had about a dozen of them. She was always buying them because she never wanted to go to the drawer and not find one.

As the years have gone past she was always complaining about having to peel potatoes, I would tell her you don’t always have to have potatoes you know you could do rice? Well, that didn’t go over well. Mom hasn’t peeled potatoes in a very long time. For one she couldn’t stand at the counter long enough without her back hurting and then with all the surgeries with her shunt.

Well Sunday Afternoon, I got up from my sleep around 3:30 which I was shocked.  Drinking my Tea Mom had told me that Terry had put a roast in the slow cooker and that if I could get her a few potatoes she would peel them. I thought she was kidding but she wasn’t. I wasn’t sure what she would be able to do, so I grabbed two potatoes and a “paring” knife and a pot. There she sat in her chair watching a movie with Rober Redford peeling potatoes and then put them in the pot!  I wasn’t sure if I wanted to cry or just give her a big hug! She did it and was telling me stories of when I was a baby and it was so wonderful. I will forever cherish this day, “The Day of the Mash Potato”  I wanted so bad to take a picture or a video of her cutting the potato small enough for the pot. But I knew she’d be mad ( she was in her Nightie lol) plus I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.

Cremation & Bath Day

Christmas 2006 37

Yesterday was the first time in a while that Mom remembered that Sunday’s are usually her bath day. But when we did the Exercise Bike trick( which didn’t turn out ) like we thought It would lol. Then I had my Blog Expert come over and help me decide on some changes for my BLOG so exciting! So Mom’s bath never happened. Well as I sure you know Mom was quite pleased that it got missed.

Well, this morning I went in to say “Good Morning” and she was still sleeping. I told her I was heading over to the coffee club and when I got back we would do her bath. So the look on her face, was priceless hoping I would forget lol.  Then she informed me she was up till 3:30 am, she was so tired. I made a mental note to call the Dr. tomorrow and see what we should do about her medication.  When Hubby and I went on our

When Hubby and I went on our Date night last night instead of our usual Tuesday, I put on “Making a Murderer”, even though its a few years old. She wasn’t well enough to remember it. When we got back she was all over it about how this poor guy was being wrongly accused etc. So when I finished my lunch I told Mom I would start her bath and she informed me she was very much involved with this case! I said it was ok, we can pause it. Well, the look I got was hilarious. My lunch was finished and I went upstairs to start the tub. She was not happy. But agreed and paused the movie. When she got in the tub we started our usual routine. Then the fun began, the “I hate Baths mom” came out to play. She started telling me I take too long, I wash over and over again at least 10x. It’s not necessary.  I blabbed to everyone her personal business( she doesn’t know about my Blog) then it got really good. I started washing her hair. Now the Nurse in me had a very hard time not laughing. So picture this. I’m rinsing her hair and she’s spitting. I asked her what is she doing? she said ” I’m spitting because the water keeps getting in my mouth” So I said ” well close your mouth!”  so then she said,” I CAN’T because the WATER is getting in my MOUTH!”  Tell me you wouldn’t have a hard time not laughing at that one!.

After her bath, we started getting her dry, and remember I have a heater on as well so she won’t be as cold. She started complaining about how much she hates her bath, I reminded her that it’s only once a week, she then said well it’s too short of time then.  As if that wasn’t funny enough, the next thing she said OMG was priceless, I couldn’t even hold back the laugh and when I started laughing she looked at me and kind of snickered a bit.  I was drying her back and putting powder on her when she said this” I think the only way I’m ever going to get out of having a bath, is when I’m dead and cremated” I looked at her and said well that would be a little difficult for me to bath you then wouldn’t it? Then she replied,” Oh God unless you dug me up?”  So I was about to say ” well that is an option, but I’m not sure how the water would work with your ashes?” Then she replied, ” Oh don’t say that or else that’s all I’ll be dreaming about tonight, you digging up my grave”  Like I said, it was a fun bath day today. But as always as soon as she’s dressed and warm she thanked me and was happy again.  I want you to know that I don’t take pleasure in tormenting my Mom, this is just a duty that I must do and it’s not fun, but it’s much better than her not getting looked after.  I’m not saying a Nursing home wouldn’t look after her, but I know that she would refuse and then she probably would never bath.  The best part is that after it’s all done, all is well. She loves me and is happy.