Short People!

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One of the great pleasures of being in the Nursing field as long as I have is that we get some doozy of stories. Some of them our families don’t find as humorous as we do.  Especially if “Poop” is involved. Well, I promise you this story is Not about “poop”  In fact quite the opposite.

Another pleasure about my Mom’s dementia is that her filter that she used to have, is no longer in existence.  She just says it like it is, and usually afterwards she realizes what she said and then she usually apologizes and then some things she says are so friggin hilarious that she usually has my husband and me in stitches laughing, the best part is that she really isn’t sure why? But will laugh along with us.  Many nights are like that.

Well, this particular night was a quiet one, nothing out of the ordinary. Mom watching her Netflix, Terry on his computer and I was working on my business. Typical night. As it was getting later in the evening I suggested to Mom maybe about getting ready for bed.  It was getting on for 8:30pm.  She agreed and said she had to go to the bathroom anyway.  So I usually let her shuffle herself into the bathroom and I wait a little bit, mostly because she gets a little grumpy if I follow her in as soon as she left.  She was having a good night and I didn’t want her mood to change.  So I went into her bedroom and grabbed the essentials. PJ’s, Personals etc.  Went into the bathroom and then that’s when the fun started.  Now our bathroom isn’t that big, in fact, it’s pretty small. So thankfully I don’t weigh 250 lbs anymore because that would have been next to impossible.  Started getting her day clothes off and putting her PJ bottoms on etc. She was finished using the washroom so she stood up and my nursing skills were at work. Now you have to picture this. Mom is pretty short and I myself and not much taller and I’m also behind her making sure everything is clean and dry.  The bathtub is right behind and the toilet is right beside her. Pretty tight area. So she stood up and I proceeded to help her pull up her Underwear( pullup) can’t see anything. Just following where I think they should go.

Up they go, Mom complained a little bit about the back part of the pull-up was going as she put it ” It’s going in the crack of my ass!”  So I had to readjust, then the pants again, they were at the bottom of her ankles and I started from behind pulling them up. As their going up she started to say something and I couldn’t quite hear her, so she proceeded to say it louder.  “My Boob is in my Pants!” as I’m pulling up the other side she says” Yep, there goes the other one!”  So I said ” What?” and I turned around to face her and sure enough I pulled them up so high that both boobs were tucked into her pants.  So from the front, I had to readjust, then we both laughed.  Now you have to remember, first Mom has no middle area, her boobs pretty much cover the mid drift area so it is very easy to tuck them in.  Plus she usually doesn’t have much patience at that time of night for me to be “fussing around” as she calls it. So I told her ” Well that’s got to be a first!” then she laughed and agreed.

I wanted to tell you this story mostly because not all of mom’s mishaps are bad. Some can be quite hilarious actually. The main thing is that she was able to laugh about it. Even hubby was laughing out in the living room.  It was a funny night!

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